I am a freaking weirdo.. That is a fact. Any one my age would probably go and get drunk on their bdays. Maybe not on alcohol, but they'll definitely got hung over life. Me?? I didn't even feel anything.. Not a single emotion on that supposedly happy day. Y????
Kokak wanted to buy cake, kodek wished like a gazillion times, mama even tried to make it special.. What was my responce?? Whatever!! Totally insensitive. Sorry..
I am very SORRY.. I just didn't feel like it.. Even more with the fact that mama said it was my bday starting from monday.. Even more with the fact that I was so busy.. Even more with the fact that I got old..
If I really put a thought on it, I'd probably feel like a looser.. And didn't feel like there's anything to celebrate.. I'm a mess..
p/s:- kokak..I still want that cake n a pair of shoes..!!!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
happy belated birthday to me (part 1: this was last year...)
feb 6th:-
This is; like so absurd. This may be the most absurd time of my life. The peak of adrenaline rush in my whole living period of time. It’s only the sixth day of February; but I am all about the 21st. Crazy? Yeah! The 21st of all my 21st. get it? I really don’t know what happened. I used to hate the 21st so much. Each coming every year is agonizing. This day alone brought me so much pain over the years. Reminded me always how old, grumpy and wrinkly I have become. All the deeds – good or bad – I have gathered in my storage has only gotten bigger.
I guess those reasons are only cover ups to what really kept hidden inside. I probably should not write this on any form of media. Still, my hands are typing relentlessly on this piece of electronic paper. The outcome would most likely turn out bad if someone laid their eyes on this screen, but still; I feel the need to type reason to hate my own birthday. Many people gasped in shock as they heard this little confession of mine. They could not register the fact that people could actually hate the day they were born. But yes, I did personally hate the 21st. I used to wish that every year in this month, one particular day would skip. But then again, though I wished as hard as I could, it never did happen; it will never happen till the end of time.
feb 23rd:-
What did I think about my whirlwind of a birthday? Well, it’s not exactly whirlwind or anything. But I guess I did end up somewhat sulky and moody. I even managed to lead the whole casa to think that I wanted a special something. At first, I was surprisingly calm and not expecting anything; content with what is. As the day goes by, the mood struck in. The major fact that contributed to this was a headache; a compulsive hit on the head. I became angry and unpleasant. All in all, I got a birthday cake and perfume for the day. It was my favourite Secret Recipes and I really enjoyed it. But still, there is this side of me that feels dissatisfied and empty. As if nothing is good enough. As if they don’t really mean all those celebration. Then again, I’m just being a b***h. I could never be satisfied or even truly happily content. That is just me. I am just a naturally negative person; and that is one leaf hard to turn over.
This is; like so absurd. This may be the most absurd time of my life. The peak of adrenaline rush in my whole living period of time. It’s only the sixth day of February; but I am all about the 21st. Crazy? Yeah! The 21st of all my 21st. get it? I really don’t know what happened. I used to hate the 21st so much. Each coming every year is agonizing. This day alone brought me so much pain over the years. Reminded me always how old, grumpy and wrinkly I have become. All the deeds – good or bad – I have gathered in my storage has only gotten bigger.
I guess those reasons are only cover ups to what really kept hidden inside. I probably should not write this on any form of media. Still, my hands are typing relentlessly on this piece of electronic paper. The outcome would most likely turn out bad if someone laid their eyes on this screen, but still; I feel the need to type reason to hate my own birthday. Many people gasped in shock as they heard this little confession of mine. They could not register the fact that people could actually hate the day they were born. But yes, I did personally hate the 21st. I used to wish that every year in this month, one particular day would skip. But then again, though I wished as hard as I could, it never did happen; it will never happen till the end of time.
feb 23rd:-
What did I think about my whirlwind of a birthday? Well, it’s not exactly whirlwind or anything. But I guess I did end up somewhat sulky and moody. I even managed to lead the whole casa to think that I wanted a special something. At first, I was surprisingly calm and not expecting anything; content with what is. As the day goes by, the mood struck in. The major fact that contributed to this was a headache; a compulsive hit on the head. I became angry and unpleasant. All in all, I got a birthday cake and perfume for the day. It was my favourite Secret Recipes and I really enjoyed it. But still, there is this side of me that feels dissatisfied and empty. As if nothing is good enough. As if they don’t really mean all those celebration. Then again, I’m just being a b***h. I could never be satisfied or even truly happily content. That is just me. I am just a naturally negative person; and that is one leaf hard to turn over.
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