post TRAUMA.. \^ ~ ^/

As of today, its officially one week after the barbaric incident that got me crying mutely in the restroom. ~I know.. what a wimp..but what can I do? I'm still a girl..its only natural..~

By now. I cannot stand even the sight of that person - lets just call that person hantu. I have experienced thing far horrifying than this. But maybe the shock is just too overwhelming... hehe... I even started talking bout hantu all day long. Anything hantu does is only annoying to me. Hantu's voice is just so obnoxious. I cant really explain why.

In my mind, scenes from that day kept on playing like a looping tape. Everytime it does, anger grows bigger. My anger.

My resolution?? Finish this darn practical. Study harder. Apply to work here as an officer. Kick hantu hard as I can. Muakakaha... That ***** is ganno die.

~ like I can accomplish any of that ~

Office Politics?? why bother...

I officially don’t understand office politics-especially here in BTM. It’s just so weird. Folks could just go around screaming, wailing like crazy people. I always thought that people in the sector would be so much professional. Guess sometimes people just won’t grow up.

Why do I say all these crap about office politics? Well, sadly, I just survived one. Still trembling out of the shock right this moment. Nape sampai tremble? Apparently, some people in BTM just love to curell – curse + yell -all the time. Its crazy. I mean how someone can lose so much sense and poise as to turn so barbaric.

Somebody just called me budak mentah x tau apa. Proud. Mingle with all the bitches of the office – which I personally think is nicer than anyone else here. Along with all the curelling. Told me to realise who I am and remember my position here. What kind of world is this? When is shyness translated into arrogance? How could that person be curelling to me when I did nothing wrong to that person? All of a sudden I have to prove myself to an overly curelling person? Justifying my position as a trainee who knows nothing and will obey just about anyone. Trying not to further agonise that person. No one to defend me. The others just go along, sat still and let that person terrorise. Letting the bully do the work. Horrific.

I understand that kind of person. I personally do. What I don’t get is the fact that all these other people – so called crony – could just let that person embarrass themselves. They don’t even try to calm that person down. How sad.
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~~Take a moment to settle yourself. Just try to calm down. Please. How can you face God with all those fury? Cursing, yelling, just seconds away before facing GOD; praying without any sense of closure at all. Cursing back right after salam... Astargfirullah...~~