post TRAUMA.. \^ ~ ^/

As of today, its officially one week after the barbaric incident that got me crying mutely in the restroom. ~I know.. what a wimp..but what can I do? I'm still a girl..its only natural..~

By now. I cannot stand even the sight of that person - lets just call that person hantu. I have experienced thing far horrifying than this. But maybe the shock is just too overwhelming... hehe... I even started talking bout hantu all day long. Anything hantu does is only annoying to me. Hantu's voice is just so obnoxious. I cant really explain why.

In my mind, scenes from that day kept on playing like a looping tape. Everytime it does, anger grows bigger. My anger.

My resolution?? Finish this darn practical. Study harder. Apply to work here as an officer. Kick hantu hard as I can. Muakakaha... That ***** is ganno die.

~ like I can accomplish any of that ~

Office Politics?? why bother...

I officially don’t understand office politics-especially here in BTM. It’s just so weird. Folks could just go around screaming, wailing like crazy people. I always thought that people in the sector would be so much professional. Guess sometimes people just won’t grow up.

Why do I say all these crap about office politics? Well, sadly, I just survived one. Still trembling out of the shock right this moment. Nape sampai tremble? Apparently, some people in BTM just love to curell – curse + yell -all the time. Its crazy. I mean how someone can lose so much sense and poise as to turn so barbaric.

Somebody just called me budak mentah x tau apa. Proud. Mingle with all the bitches of the office – which I personally think is nicer than anyone else here. Along with all the curelling. Told me to realise who I am and remember my position here. What kind of world is this? When is shyness translated into arrogance? How could that person be curelling to me when I did nothing wrong to that person? All of a sudden I have to prove myself to an overly curelling person? Justifying my position as a trainee who knows nothing and will obey just about anyone. Trying not to further agonise that person. No one to defend me. The others just go along, sat still and let that person terrorise. Letting the bully do the work. Horrific.

I understand that kind of person. I personally do. What I don’t get is the fact that all these other people – so called crony – could just let that person embarrass themselves. They don’t even try to calm that person down. How sad.
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~~Take a moment to settle yourself. Just try to calm down. Please. How can you face God with all those fury? Cursing, yelling, just seconds away before facing GOD; praying without any sense of closure at all. Cursing back right after salam... Astargfirullah...~~

not human worthy...

i woke up today
feeling not alive
wishing i could go back to sleep

but still i went on
preparing for another day
facing all these ridicules

the fact that there is so much to hate about me
the fact that i annoy more than i could ever be
the fact that they cant bare my existing
the fact that i am just me
its almost im not human worthy

***thanx to d freakin corrupted server d rest of d words r lost n cant b retrievd**

defining human gravity

people are always evolving..developing into something new each and every single day..doing things that they dont know how affective would be for their lives..expressing feeling without considering others..judging others without looking back on who they used to be..say thing they ought to regret in the future..human..its gravity..

of course!theres also the part where people have empathy..when theyre not so judgmental..or when they remember that things go around..most of the times; only when they become the victims..or they went through rough days..or even when they were being blamed for things.. human..

we are all the same..not literally..of course..it would bring a total different meaning..i suppose..its just that no matter how nice we are, or how soft spoken we are..or how stiff we are..we are all human..as childish as it all sounds..deep inside we all have the same need for life..and somehow somewhere inside we all have the same nature..

the nature to look and judge..sometimes the cover look just too complex or boring that we cant even bring ourselves to read the synopsis..what else the book..same goes with human..not interesting??not cute??dont talk to them..just ignore them..somehow, this is human gravity..

or in certain cases..when people dont have any appeal to you..nor do they have any beneficiary skills..even more, you have to work your butt off for them...so, what should you do??..its so much work..so tedious..so annoying..right..lets just dump them..tell all your friends to ignore them totally..theyre just pain in the back!..lets talk crap about these people..who do they think they are??freaking annoying!!

would we ever think for a second what happened between this freakingly annoying person and us days before??like..what they had done for us??and how we have been acting lately??did we ever do anything to this person to be having to work hard for them??have we ever actually thought that what goes around comes around??

i dont know..its frustrating that people just think that the world revolves around them..they have to be the superhot supergood supernice superdeserving superstar..and everyone else owes them something..

like all these people owe me something..i hope i dont have to be judgmental..or cruel..i hope that i can see the world that revolves around all the human beings..why is it that everytime something goes wrong for me..i have to blame others..why cant i blame myself..why do i have to break down to my emotions and drag everyone into this mess..

ohh GOD..please help me..i want to be self less me.. defying human gravity..

falling down the steep and CRUSH

aahhh...wat a beautiful feeling..

i bet a whole lot of ppl r relating to dis song..having an eye 4 dis 1 human n maybe not getting d reaction they long..or even not noticed by d desired..yeah2..

i crush a lot...theres juz too much beauty GOD created..i juz blieve dat all these beauty are not to b wasted n should b admired..hehe..

many ppl r left despaired in d midst of having a crush..waiting d rite moment to actually burst ur true feeling to dat person..battling ur own insecurities to actually think about coming clean..even playing pretend to cover up imperfections..all these just for the sake of a human dat doesn't necessarily realize ur existence..-overrated-..however, dats d reality..

not to brag..but those things RARELY happen to me..-not saying it never did-..n when it does happen, it is cruciatingly painfull and patheticly beautiful..

weirdo how human can be..its true they say; we r all insane in nature..

nevertheless, most of my crushes end the minute i got a grasp of dat individual..once the mystery is unveiled-poof!-, d crush is no more..n im back to square 1..-finding new crush on GOD's creation-..wat m i to be??

FullHouse

I love this song!!

This clip is a trailer from a popular korean tv series FULLHOUSE starring the kinda cute Rain and the lovely Song Hye Gyo. I'm not really sure why I put this trailer in this post-maybe because others are too hard to upload-but I really like this song. This surely is not the best series I've ever watched-theres been better ones- but to think that someone would build a house so expensive just for a drama series is over the edge even for me. The producers must either be ridiculously rich or they have future seeing power-they could see how successful it would be.

In my point of view, Korean serial dramas is somewhat similar to Malay soaps. Except for the fact that the actors are bizarrely cute, the budget is international rated and there's no restrained ideas. Maybe others won't see it as I do; but if you compare the plot, the drama- the all about "love is all around", even the sobs and cries- you might see why Malays love Korean dramas. I mean come on; even Koreans are crazy bout them!

First video upload

Do not get the wrong idea of me liking this song or the singer just because I uploaded this clip. It just happened that this is the smallest clip that I have in my hard disk. Since uploading a video is a requirement for this assignment, it is inevitable.

Despite the above statement, this is a good song. I do find it interesting. However, it is not something that I really indulge. Being a universal listener makes me sing to this song too though.

Facts of my Life

Currently, I'm living in Malacca, one of the most historical and famous state in Malaysia. Being a student, takes you to all parts of the world. Many people travel to the opposite sides of the world from their hometown for the sake of education. I am lucky to be studying in my own country. I din't have to struggle as much as the foreign students. But in other point of view, being away from their family helps them grow and make them strive even more.

Studying in UTeM helps me get a better insight if myself. -Whatever that means!- The truth is, being a university student made me realise, how fast the world is moving. Somehow, getting a grip of yourself and not loosing it in the process became the most important thing. Finding friends are vital for not just to help you through the process but also to carry around with for life. The people who keeps your balance.

I lurv NEOPETS so much! Its an online pets community centre; and its totally free! How great is that?? I had always wanted to have a pet but find it a bit tedious for my lifestyle. Other things like cyber pet or a robo pet would be too expensive. The website is also very interactive; suitable even for children underage. How good is that?

Maybe my life is not as interesting as others, but I always make sure I have fun-even in my on way. There are a lot more that I want to type, but very little time.
"I would if I could, But I can't; So I won't"

Introducing The Sekos

I have a family. (who doesn't??) My family is one of the most important things for me..top ranking! Well this one may just look like any other normal looking family, but believe me. it is not what its like. What you see will not entirely be what you get. At first, people always say:"You've got a nice family, very normal.." Once you got to know them.. Well lets just say some of my friendswere almost traumatized! Not that they're terrfying, they're just Sekos.. Words cannot describe.



Meet my mama..adorable isn't she??



This is kodek.. No...she's not on crack!




The one to the left is kokak...she's looking for kodek..




Introducing...KOBANG!!




Things cant't get more normal than this.!



One not so big happy familia! I looorve my fammmmmmmmily.. xoxo

Assignment 1 (BENC 3173)

This post is dedicated as the introductory section of the first assignment for Computer Network and Systems. This assignment is a course requirement and will be graded. The first five posts of this blog would be dedicated to this requirement. Then, I have to prepare a technical report regarding this process. So, if there's anyone who accidentally read this, feel free to tell me how to write this report.

There is a conflict in which topic I'd like to discuss in this assignment. Bare in mind, the lecturer did not give us specific instructions. All he said was we have to write a blog of 5 posts with attachments but nothing about the topic of discussion.

So I guess, anything will just have to do. Here we go...don't forget to enjoy!